How Leaders Cope, Rebound, And Grow from Rejection

We have all had to deal with the disappointment of a rejection. That is especially hard after you’ve worked your heart out for something you passionately wanted, and every indication was that it was working in your favor. But you didn’t get your heart’s desire. How do you not only cope and rebound, but also grow from the rejection of something you really wanted, for example, a promotion, a lucrative contract, or an ideal job?

Many years ago, I was looking forward to an attractive international job assignment that was mine to decline. I was excited like a kid on Christmas morning. Then at the end of the evaluation process, I was informed of a strategy change.

The assignment went to someone else. My competitive spirit was devastated. Then something I heard from a famous preacher came back to me: Every setback is only a setup for a future blessing for those who love God. Years later, I reflect on that denied opportunity and can validate those words. That rejection opened new and better doors that led to my future success. 

When we learn to see disappointment as a blessing, we will take comfort in knowing that the setback is a setup for our future success. We make plans, and God creates a better plan. 

How to Cope, Rebound, And Grow from Rejection

The following actions will help you not only deal with but grow from rejection.

• First, know that it is ok to grieve – for a short while. You have lost something you put your heart into attaining. The most important decision you can make during the grieving process is to put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward. Ignoring the disappointment only delays the emotional impact. My go-to scripture verse when disappointment visits me is, For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future (Jer. 29:11 NIV).

• Ask for feedback on why you were rejected. Accept it gracefully meaning offer smiles (I know that might take some work) and “thank-you’s”; and no rebuttals. Give the person providing the feedback license to be authentic versus fabricated, and specific versus general. Know it might sting a little, but feedback is a gift. Therefore, focus on your goal of finding nuggets for growth.

• Do a personal evaluation and Learn from the setback. Begin with the feedback. Does it sound similar to what you have heard before? Do you need to change your approach? What could you have done better? Ask God for wisdom to find at least one thing you could improve. Develop a plan to drive excellence in that improvement item. 

• Rebound with a passion. Don’t dwell in the land of the dead. Rise and affirm yourself. Your worth is not determined by others but by whom God declared you to be. Remind yourself that what was lost was not for you. Your blessing is just around the corner. Be persistent. Success comes not to the one who falls, but the one who picks themselves up again. 

• Keep your options open and pray for God’s guidance. Because one situation fell through, that does not mean the next will. The door you thought was yours to walk through was simply a test for your door that could be just around the corner.

• Position yourself to coach someone else. One of the most effective ways to grow from disappointment is to coach someone else to avoid a similar rejection or to deal with one based on the lessons you learned. When you focus on helping others, you help yourself in the process. 

No one likes rejection. However, it can be a positive force. It can bring resilience. Turn your rejection into growth. Set yourself on the path to victory by taking a deep breath and accepting that this setback was just a setup for a mind-blowing, phenomenal success coming your way.

Empowered Leader Reflection

How did you turn your last professional or personal rejection into a growth opportunity? 

Feel free to leave a comment if this resonates with you.