Give Constructive Feedback Like A Bowl of Cereal
I can do a better job improving myself if I know what needs improvement. That means constructive feedback. However, that is one management tool that’s often poorly executed. Exceptional leaders must master the art of giving constructive feedback.
In one of my performance reviews, my manager told me I needed to demonstrate more “visible leadership.” Maybe he thought I was hiding my leadership skills! In another situation, my project manager gave me negative feedback in a meeting attended by our project team and his boss. I felt humiliated; my confidence shattered.
As leaders, we must provide feedback in a helpful way.
The Sad Truth About Feedback
According to Zippia, 65% of employees desire more feedback, and 92% agree that negative feedback is effective in improving their performance when properly delivered. Sadly, only 28% of employees receive meaningful feedback at least once a week.
What Feedback Is and Should Not Be
Feedback is a tool to help reinforce good behavior or drive performance improvement in yourself or others. It is sharing an evaluation of someone’s performance or information on results achieved.
Feedback is poor if not given in a useful way. That’s the case when it’s unclear. It can be mentally and emotionally destructive when delivered by putting someone to shame in front of others. Also, sugar-coated feedback is synonymous with no feedback.
My Philosophy on Giving Constructive Feedback
For negative feedback to work by being “constructive,” the delivery must be seen as equally important as the message.
Here is my cereal feedback philosophy. I love cold cereal. I can have it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner – on the same day. But, if you are giving me cereal, I will enjoy it best if served in a bowl with a spoon. It would be useless and upsetting, if you delivered my cereal by pouring it over my head. I should provide feedback like giving you a bowl of cereal.
My objective should be to deliver it to you in a way that’s beneficial, and usable. Leaders should strive to do the same.
How to Deliver Constructive Feedback Like A Bowl of Cereal
There are several steps to delivering appropriate and meaningful feedback.
- Delivery:
- Preparation. An effective delivery begins with preparation. This includes documenting the feedback.
- Location. Select an appropriate confidential location. Some of my best constructive feedback given or received have been over a cup of coffee.
- Approach. Approach the feedback from a position of compassion or empathy. If this is difficult, check your motives.
- Set the stage. I do this by doing two things. First, I ask permission. While I don’t need approval to provide feedback to my direct report, I should show respect. It makes the receiver more receptive. Second, I share my purpose for the feedback.
- Message
- Specific. Focus on the issue. This is not a “dump” of all your concerns.
- Balanced. Share what they are doing well, followed by the one item needing improvement.
- Behavior-based. Share clear examples of the behavior that you observed and the resulting impact.
- After the Message
- Ask a question. Example: What is one thing I can do to help you close the gap?
- Listen – with empathy. The more you talk, the higher the risk of becoming judgmental.
- Give thanks or share an affirmation. You should not end on a negative note. I like ending with “You know, Joe/Jane, I appreciate you letting me share this with you, and I appreciate…”. This closes the session with excellence.
- Follow-up (Optional). I follow up in a day or two with a question such as “now you’ve had time to process our discussion, have you thought any more of how I can help?
Special Situations
There are situations we should treat with special gloves, such as dealing with a difficult employee. See my post on how to deal with a difficult employee.
We sometimes miss the mark. When we do, it would be helpful if someone cared enough to help us get back on the right track. And we would appreciate the feedback better if provided like a nice bowl of granola (my favorite) cereal!
Empowered Leader Reflection
Think of the last constructive feedback you received that you appreciated. What was specific about it that made you appreciate it?
*yourself*
Dear Coach, blessings! I really enjoyed this article. There is a side of ministry which really calls for a “corporate structure” and as such, paid staff as well as volunteers should be afforded the same opportunities for growth just as if they were in a secular setting. This article provides a step by step guide on how to provide constructive criticism. I will be using this in one of my training sessions. Better yet, I might just invite you to deliver to us via Zoom. Thank you for giving of yoursell.
Hi Spiritual Warrior! Thank you for your comment and kind words. It would be a blessing to share from my experience with your team. Just let me know how I can be of service. Blessing to you Sis.