Rebuild Self-Confidence When You Doubt Yourself
What should we do when we start doubting ourselves? There are times when we face challenges that look so unconquerable, we start questioning our capabilities. We may also be in situations where our brilliant ideas are constantly rejected, leaving us wondering if we can contribute anything. These situations can cause us to start doubting our capabilities. How do we build confidence when we start doubting ourselves?
What is self-doubt?
Self-doubt is having a lack of confidence in one’s ability. It’s a demotivator and mental block that can drive fear, increase anxiety, lower self-esteem, and limit success.
A little self-doubt or self-criticism is not necessarily bad. It can be a motivator for over-achieving. However, unhealthy self-doubt needs to be addressed.
None of us are immune to self-doubt. There are times when our self-confidence gets eroded by a constant negative force. There are also times when self-doubt overshadows us unexpectedly.
Self-doubt can be triggered by someone asking us a simple question such as, “Are you ready?” We may reply “Yes,” but sometimes we continue that conversation in our heads. “Are you sure? What if you forget your lines? What if you freeze up?”
It could be imposter syndrome when we feel unsure whether we are skilled enough for something we are about to do. It could be fear due to a past experience. It could simply be that we don’t want to get a rejection. Whatever it is, we don’t have to adopt that defeated mentality.
Overcoming Self-Doubt
To overcome self-doubt, we need to manage what’s in our control, and it all starts with mental positioning.
- Mental Positioning
The battle for self-confidence is first lost in our minds. Therefore, our first step to overcoming self-doubt is to prepare mentally by doing the following.
- Be compassionate to ourselves. Recognize that we are our worse critics.
- Adopt a mindset of possibilities. A Mindset of Possibilities means believing we can get it done.
- Think back to past successes for motivation. In my favorite book, The Bible, a young shepherd boy named David saw a physical giant opponent called Goliath as a huge target that he could not miss. That’s positive thinking! To strengthen his mindset of possibilities, David brought to memory past victories to encourage himself that this giant was just like the other challenges he conquered. David practiced self-motivation by speaking positive declarations. We get what we declare. If we declare defeat, we have already lost. When we declare victory, we are 50% of the way there already.
- Physical Positioning
There are times when self-doubt creeps in because we feel we did not prepare sufficiently. When that happens, the following steps can help boost our self-confidence.
- Surround ourselves with those who provide encouragement and support.
- Shut out the critiques and nay-sayers. It’s good to listen to advice. It’s better to harvest what’s beneficial from their input and discard what’s not helpful. Besides, they do not validate your worth.
- Position For Excellence
Many of us can get stuck in a swirl trying to get something done because we doubt it is ever good enough. We allow perfection to drive our confidence. Perfection is a fleeting target. We should instead focus on a more attainable goal.
- Focus on getting the job done with excellence versus perfection.
- Compare ourselves to our goal. It is important to be clear on our definition of success, and it is not comparing ourselves to others. Success is not simply about a number, neither is it comparing ourselves to others. It’s about accomplishing a mission.
Get Professional Help
Sometimes, self-doubt is debilitating and just too much to manage solo. If that is the case, we most probably should seek clinical help. Many employers offer this support as a benefit.
It’s normal to experience some level of self-doubt. It’s great when it’s a motivator to get us to excellence. Beyond that, leverage the steps above to regain self-confidence.
Empowered Leader Reflection
What techniques do you use to overcome self-doubt?
You are invited to join in the conversation and add a comment below.
