Leading with Love: A Modern Approach to Effective Leadership
We have been deceived into thinking love is not a word that should be used in reference to leadership because it’s too feminine or immediately thought of in the context of romance.
However, one of the most important skills of leadership is the ability to lead from the heart. That’s because leadership is about influencing others through inspiration and motivation built on a foundation of trust. These are outcomes from touching people where it matters most: their hearts.
Leading with love is not a soft skill; it’s a powerful one. It’s a critical skill.
Love is not an emotion. It’s not a feeling. It’s deliberate. It’s intentional.
Leadership Love: The Unlikely Pair
One of the myths of leading with love is that love is not a word to be used in C-Suites and leadership events. We have also been led to believe love is too “feminine” and has no place in a tough, competitive corporate leader’s vocabulary in the boardroom.
On the contrary, just as the best leaders are Servant Leaders because they serve their people, the best leaders lead with love because they care about those they influence. A leader whose heart is not toward their people will not deliver optimal results.
When was the last time your words spelled love? These include statements such as, “I care about your aspirations,” “I appreciate you,” “I want you to be successful.”
Love Drives Results
We perform our best when we feel safe: A person who leads from the heart develops a caring environment of psychological safety. In that environment, team culture is exponentially healthier, trust is higher, and collaboration is the default mode of operation.
We deliver our best when we perform our best: Leaders who are powered by love most often exhibit a commanding executive presence. They are usually inspirational and motivational. They can energize a team to deliver groundbreaking results.
Effective leaders attract the best performers: Leading with love does not require high energy. The leader is usually not the most vocal, but rather has a quiet strength, is in touch with their organization, and is a master in communication. They make you feel like you are the most important person in the world when speaking to you. They are the ones people want to work for and follow.
The most effective leaders know how to lead with love. Let’s investigate how the best leaders spell love.
Love in Action
L: Lift. One of the most important jobs of a leader is to create other leaders.
This means lifting others to their true potential. Lifting someone means guiding them to potential they did not know they had through coaching. It means opening doors for them that create a path to career success, such as a sponsor does.
You can lift a person by celebrating their achievements with them or even giving them constructive feedback to expose blind spots. We can elevate our direct reports by offering them opportunities for growth and development and providing opportunities to shine.
When we lift someone, we help move them forward because we care about their growth.
O: Open. A leader who uses his heart is open.
A leader who is open-hearted is usually open-minded and open to criticism. It signals welcome to engage and to collaborate. Being open creates an atmosphere of trust.
An open leader listens actively. This demonstrates the leader is present by them asking questions for clarification, seeking to understand when being offered criticism. These leaders are open to considering differing ideas, thoughts, and approaches.
Open-hearted leaders are approachable because they offer open arms.
V: Value. Valuing others is a trait that recognizes people for who they are and what they bring to the table.
It is objective, fair, impartial, and unbiased. When people feel valued, they won’t need the emotional and mental gymnastics needed to overcome biases and inequities. Instead, they will focus on the task and bring their best self to the game, often going above and beyond to exceed expectations.
A leader who values others creates the space necessary for a psychological safety net. This builds trust and allows individuals to take interpersonal risks without fear of criticism, retaliation, or discounting.
A leader who values others will drop their social, cultural, and economic filters and see the potential in their team because they care about the individuals.
E: Empower. Empowerment is a gift that a leader gives to others.
This means the necessary skills, resources, and authority to be successful in what they were asked to execute. Success would be fleeting if you were not given the resources to execute what you were asked to do.
On the contrary, someone who is truly empowered and feels empowered will be confident in their actions and take ownership of the work, including the success and failure. Someone who feels empowered can rise to the occasion and do more than they initially believed they could.
If you are powered by love, you will ensure those you lead have all they need to be successful because you care about their success.
Love is an outward action. Not simply words. It demonstrates to those we influence that we lead from the heart. This is so important that I devoted a whole section to Leading with the Heart in my first book, How to Demonstrate Effective Leadership: 24 Real-Life Examples of Grace in Action.
Leading with Love Defined
There’s more to leading with the heart than those mentioned above. Here is my favorite dozen that actually defines what leading with love is all about.
- Peaceful Patience: This involves the gift of time and grace.
- Kind, empathetic, and considerate: This considers the situation of others.
- Humble. Has a quiet confidence: Self-confidence is not boastful but respects others.
- Courteous (not rude): This is being graceful and respectful.
- Abundance mentality (Not selfish): Knowing how to play well and fairly with others.
- Emotional intelligence. Not easily angered: Manages emotions and is in touch with others.
- Forgives. Does not carry a grudge or allow past hurts to cloud judgment.
- Compassionate. Does not embrace injustice: Acts on what is right for others.
- Resilience: Handles whatever comes our way.
- Optimistic: Sees the best in everyone.
- Steady: Remains steadfast in difficult situations.
- Dependable: Does not fade away.
As a Christ-centered leader, you may recognize that I borrowed this definition of love from my favorite book, the Bible, which tells us how someone who is powered by love behaves. This can be found in 1 Cor 13:4-8
The most effective leaders are powered by the intentional action of love.
They demonstrate it rather than talk about it. They are focused on lifting others beyond their perceived potential, fostering an atmosphere of trust by being open and valuing others, which encourages them to bring their best self to work, and empowering them to be successful. This makes these leaders inspirational and motivational.
Empowered Leader Reflection
How would your direct reports say you are demonstrating love on a scale of 1-10? What will you do to improve that rating?
If this resonates with you, please share your thoughts with us below.
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