Caution Leaders: Idioms With the Wrong Messages
In today’s fast-paced world, where truth and data can easily be distorted, leaders must communicate clearly and with intent. This includes the use of idioms and familiar phrases. The words of a leader carry weight. Consider: do your favorite sayings truly convey the message on intent you want your team to receive?
In other posts, we have discussed phrases that can sabotage a leader as well as sayings that limit effective leadership. There are also great sayings that leaders should use, such as Lead by example or Rise to the occasion. Then there are these idioms, phrases, and cultural proverbs we use that just require a little extra caution or further clarification when employed. They could carry the wrong message.
I recall someone telling me that you can take a horse to the river, but can’t make it drink. I blurted out, “Sure, you can. Just add salt to its food first.” We laughed. I don’t know much about horses and can’t for sure say that trick would work. However, the point is that because it’s a favorite saying doesn’t mean it’s true.
Then there was the time when a team member laughed at me and said that I was the lowest man on the totem pole. To which the nerd in me replied, “Then I have influence over all of you, whether you stay upright or fall, since you are all on my shoulders because the strongest part of a totem pole is the base.” In a literal sense, the lowest person on the totem pole is actually the most important since they carry the weight of the entire pole.
The Basis for Caution
Why discuss idioms at all? It’s because the phrases we choose as leaders shape how others perceive us, influence our team’s behavior, and can unintentionally undermine our message if not chosen wisely. Here are a few reasons to use caution.
- Avoids sending the wrong message. As leaders, we must clearly communicate our intent. Think about it. Would we want to communicate that progress only comes through pain? I don’t think so, yet one idiom conveys that message.
- Prevents the wrong culture from being cultivated. It’s imperative that we drive the right behaviors in our teams. However, we can subtly convey a message that goes against the environment we are trying to create by using inaccurate phrases.
- Demonstrates character. We create trust when we demonstrate thoughtfulness and consideration with our choice of words and phrases.
Ultimately, leaders must communicate thoughtfully to ensure their words represent their commitment, set clear expectations, and encourages the right behaviors within their teams. Unexamined idioms can muddle the core message or unintentionally clash with desired values.
10 Idioms to be Cautious About
Let’s explore ten idioms or favorite phrases leaders should be cautious about. So let your hair down, while I let the cat out of the bag. Hey, I could not resist!
- Do what your heart tells you. Or, Do what feels right. This means let your heart inspire you. While sounding good, that is truly not complete coaching. Our hearts don’t always point us in the right direction, especially when emotionally driven. Also, feelings have led many individuals down the wrong path. It’s best to encourage the correct decision-making process while balancing intuition, a spirit of discernment, and values.
- If you work a job you love, you’ll never work a day in your life. This generally means that if you love what you are doing, it will not feel like work. That may be the case sometimes. However, when doing what we love, many times it causes us to put in even more effort (work) – at times at the sacrifice of what matters most; just like when we are working too much, and risk burnout. A more effective perspective is that if you work a job you love, work will be enjoyable.
- It will work itself out. This means a difficult situation or problem will eventually be resolved without direct help. Unfortunately, the default outcome is not always the best. “It” cannot work “itself” out. This is a sign of helplessness and a surrender to accepting the outcome. It’s a trap to keep us from being resilient and taking action. In reality, “we” have to put effort into impacting the outcome “we” desire. It starts by developing an action plan to resolve the situation.
- No pain. No gain. The intent of this saying is that you have to work for what you want. While the intent is correct, using that idiom to support someone’s pain can hinder the approach of finding painless solutions. It communicates that real progress only comes through pain. My physical therapist would strongly disagree. Pain can bring progress, but pain can also bring setbacks and destruction. It would be more impactful to say pain can bring gain, so be resilient.
- Good things come to those who wait. In other words, be patient. Here’s the thing. Those who are always patient risk being disappointed that they were sometimes too slow. Effective leaders need to have a bias for action. They know how to go after what is needed and also know when to exercise caution and control.
- You can’t judge a book by its cover. This means something may look bad but is good on the inside. While the saying is widely used, generally, our actions are different. One thing became clear to me when publishing my first book: A book cover can influence someone to pick it up. That’s because the first thing we check in evaluating a book is the cover. Similarly, we immediately form an opinion when we meet a person for the first time – before they even utter a word. My coaching would be to delay final judgment until after sampling the inside, but do like good scientists and observe all input, including the cover, which can sometimes be loud and clear on what’s inside.
- Curiosity killed the cat. In my innovation teams, I always say this saying does not apply here. Curiosity never killed anyone. The lack of caution, getting distracted, and taking unnecessary risks are the culprit of their demise. Using this idiom as a caution to a team member may unintentionally stifle a culture of innovation. Curiosity opens a world of information and knowledge and should be encouraged from an early age.
- The customer is always right. This is a business philosophy that prioritizes the customer’s needs with the intention to treat the customer as if they are right. However, you should not assume that your trusted and committed employee is automatically wrong because a customer said so. Sometimes the customer is literally right, just not every time. Therefore, be careful not to devalue your employee for the satisfaction of a customer.
- If at first you don’t succeed, try again. This advice is on the right track concerning determination, just not complete. If you fail the first time, chances are you will fail the second, third, and fourth times if no changes are made. If you repeat the same thing, you will get the same results. The right approach is if you fail, step back, evaluate what went wrong, then determine the best approach for the next trial.
- When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. This conveys that when a setback comes, make the best of it. This, however, is like telling someone in need whom you are in a position to help that you are praying for them instead of offering help. The fact is, lemonade will only come if you have sugar and water to go with the lemon juice. You cannot make lemonade with only lemons. So, when life gives you lemons, I’m sure you’ll appreciate me empowering you by supplying the water and sugar to make lemonade. It’s more accurate to say, “When life gives you lemons, leverage your resources to get out of the setback.”
Sayings and idiomatic expressions, although often meaningful, risk being used out of context, leading to unintended and sometimes immeasurable consequences. Such misuse can obscure our message and hinder clear communication.
The bottom line is that leaders should use caution when using their favorite sayings, phrases, or cultural proverbs. Consider what you are saying and ensure the right context to avoid sending the wrong message.
Empowered Leader Reflection
Do you agree or disagree with the list? Are there any idioms or favorite phrases that make no sense to you?
We would love to hear your thoughts. Would you share them with us below?
