All Great Leaders Have Scars

All great leaders experience scars along their journey. A leadership scar is a painful mental or emotional experience. It could be a denied reward, an unjustified outcome, or even, as I have experienced, an insulting label directed at you that left an emotional scar. Do you know how to convert leadership scars you experience into growth opportunities?

Consider Oprah. Today she does not even need her last name to command attention. She was fired from her first job as a TV news anchor. Her response? She persevered through the shock of being fired, and many other emotional and mental roadblocks to be the success she is today. You also can turn your leadership scars into success-driven experiences.

A Personal Scar

Not long before my first promotion, my manager, Peter, said I would only get promoted over his dead body. How would that make you feel? Thankfully, another leader in our organization decided to represent me at the decision table. Three months later, I was promoted. 

The many scars I got from working for Peter were painful and disempowering. However, those scars motivated me to become a servant leader. 

Your Scars

I know your painful emotional or mental leadership scars do not feel like the art of cleverly hidden cosmetic surgery incisions. Instead, they may feel like badly stitched wounds festering from deep frustration or despair. However, how you approach a leadership scar will determine if it becomes a growth opportunity or a mental barrier to your future success. 

Don’t get discouraged by the barriers, speed bumps, and glass (sometimes concrete) ceilings you experience. Remain faithful. Keep persevering. You’re in a career-long marathon; not an overnight sprint. 

Reframe your scars as cosmetic surgery incisions or success-driven experiences from which you can learn. The scar from a cosmetic surgery incision is there but not intrusive. Use those experiences to help others through their difficult times by coaching and mentoring.

Our best growth comes from our most painful experiences.

Persevere Through Your Scars

How do we persevere through our scars? Academy award actor Sidney Poitier was told early in his career that he would be better off as a dishwasher because of his West Indian accent. That insult drove him to work harder. It’s not easy when you’re hurt to remain optimistic, but the rewards come to those who persevere and maintain self-control. 

Here’s how to persevere and turn your pain into success.

• Continue to deliver outstanding results and remain in “ready mode” to move to the next level (promotion, choice position, financial reward, lucrative contract, etc.)

• Stay focused on your personal mission; not the circumstances. You cannot go wrong when you follow the path God outlined for you – regardless of the situation.

• Maintain an attitude of gratitude. Being grateful for what you have and where you are, contributes to emotional stability. 

• Push on the system – with a smile. Don’t get comfortable with the status quo. Push for the change you want with a positive attitude. Frustration only breads unhealthy stress. 

• If you are treated wrong, remember, “Vengeance is mine; I will repay saith The Lord (Rom 12:19 KJV)”. Pray about it, and let God fight that battle for you. A strategic conversation with a sponsor could open doors you can’t.

• Know when you are being kicked out of the nest to take flight. Sometimes, growth comes by spreading your wings. The best decision may be to take the open door even if it feels uncomfortable. Change is not comfortable, but empowered leaders embrace change. 

Scars are formed during challenging times. These challenges are painful. However, our best growth comes from our most painful experiences. When we persevere through these times, we become more empowered leaders to help ourselves and others.

Empowered Leader Reflection

How does it feel to reframe your scars as success-driven experiences (cosmetic surgery incisions) from which you can learn?

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