Phrases That Sabotage Your Leadership
Are you unknowingly sabotaging your leadership credibility? Effective leaders not only share clear visions and direction, but they also choose their words wisely to communicate with clarity and commitment. That’s because certain phrases can sabotage a leader’s influence. These phrases can cause a team to doubt, lose trust, and be confused about a leader’s message.
Recently, I was in a Home Owners Association (HOA) meeting where a local utility company came to address some of our community concerns. The technical leader was questioned on why certain actions were not being taken. His response was, “I’m only doing what I was told.” The homeowners (including me) laughed. One member verbalized all our feelings by saying, “Then you are the wrong person to be talking to us. We need the leader.”
Some phrases, referred to as weak phrases, will diminish a leader’s credibility. These phrases are unclear, passive, or overly apologetic. They lead to confusion because they are often open to misinterpretation.
If a leader starts a sentence with the phrase, “I recommend we do…,” it makes you want to listen. However, if a leader starts with “I think we probably should try,” you immediately start looking elsewhere. One communicates strong leadership while the other erodes the leader’s credibility. That’s similar to the utility company’s technical leader telling our HOA that he only does what he is told. That communicated a lack of accountability to us.
The Impact of Weak Phrases
Since clear communication is crucial for effective leadership, the impact of a leader frequently using weak phrases is significant and shows up in many ways.
- Creates confusion due to uncertainty of the message.
- Erodes a leader’s credibility due to lack of trust from being noncommittal.
- Reduces a leader’s authority and influence because of being non-assertive.
- Demonstrates a lack of confidence by the leader using tentative words.
- Leads to poor team morale and productivity due to a lack of confidence in the leader.
It’s important that a leader understand the impact of frequently using weak phrases. They can diminish their hard-earned influence.
Weak Phrase Examples and Alternatives
In many cases, leaving out the weak phrases would strengthen the message. However, there are other word choices you can use in place of weak phrases. Here are ten examples of weak phrases, why they are ineffective, and potential alternatives to elevate your influence.
- “Can I be honest with you?”
- Why weak: Implies the speaker was not being honest before.
- Alternative: “Here’s the situation…” or “Here’s my position…”
- Impact: Eliminates the unnecessary qualifiers and confidently focuses attention on the message.
- “Trust me.”
- Why weak: Communicates you are undeserving but now asking for trust.
- Alternative: “Consider this….,” or “In my experience…”
- Impact: Conveys significance without the assumption of lack of trust.
- “Don’t take this wrong, but…”
- Why weak: Conveys poor communication skills and the inability to be clear.
- Alternative: “In my assessment…”
- Impact: This is a more assertive position.
- “I know you think I’m harsh but..”
- Why weak: This is a defensive position and lacks ownership of the message.
- Alternative: “Here is my position based on…”
- Impact: Takes ownership of a tough decision without unnecessary apologies or emotional qualifiers.
- “I don’t want to be mean but…” Similar to “I’m sorry but…”
- Why weak: Apologizing ahead of time devalues what is about to be said and invites a defensive position.
- Alternative: “Consider this perspective…”
- Impact: Creates a forward-focused approach minus the emotionally attached apology.
- “You don’t have to believe me but…”
- Why weak: The speaker lacks confidence in communicating the message.
- Alternative: “You must consider…”
- Impact: The change invites consideration and communicates significance.
- “Mistakes were made.”
- Why weak: vague and lacks accountability.
- Alternative: “I’m committed to understanding the root cause and taking appropriate action.”
- Impact: Shows commitment, accountability, and bias for action.
- “It might be a good idea to…”
- Why weak: Lacks assertiveness and commitment.
- Alternative: “I recommend that we…”
- Impact: Invites action and assertiveness.
- “I’m no expert but…” Similar to “I think we should…”
- Why weak: Shows a lack of decisiveness. You devalue experience with proactive self-defense and self-criticism.
- Alternative: “I recommend…,” or “Based on my experience…”
- Impact: The alternative is a more assertive option and communicates confidence.
- “Does this make sense?” This is one I frequently use.
- Why weak: Implies the leader is doubtful of what they just said.
- Alternative: “Based on this understanding…”
- Impact: Encourages clear communication and togetherness.
These ten saboteurs of a leader’s communication should be avoided. That’s because while there are situations when a weak phrase may not even raise an eyebrow, most often that same phrase would weaken a message. The problem is many times we don’t consider the impact.
We should be mindful and strive to use decisive language that communicates confidence, assertiveness, commitment, and integrity. This will increase our leadership presence and influence.
Empowered Leader Reflection
Can you identify one leadership-weakening phrase you use regularly that you will replace with more confident words?
What other weak phrases do you know? Would you leave a comment below to help us grow?
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