Leadership Lessons from Love in a Marriage
In interpersonal relationships, none is more foundational than marriage. This is when two people from different backgrounds choose to unite as one. In a similar way, when someone takes on a leadership role, whether it’s leading a team or an organization, it’s vital they embrace the principles that contribute to a successful marriage and, by extension, any meaningful relationship. There are many valuable lessons a leader can learn from a successful marriage.
I recall a dinner my wife and I had with a young couple who were about to get married. They asked for our advice. My wife said that marriage takes work to be successful. The bride responded with a sarcastic laugh claiming she wasn’t signing up for another job. My wife shot me the look that silently conveyed, “Boy, is she in for a surprise!”
Unfortunately, too many leaders approach their roles in a similar way. They aspire to be recognized as great leaders but don’t want to invest the time needed to achieve that. Some believe they are there to lead like a boss, expecting others to simply follow.
It does not work that way. Leaders work to carry the badge of being great or effective.
Marriage Lessons for Interrelationships
The following are lessons I gained in my 38 years of marriage to an incredible partner. These insights are for anyone wanting to be an effective leader.
- Put God First. Allow yourself to be guided by a higher being. Lead with the right intention and the heart of a servant leader.
- Don’t quit. Don’t give up on a team member. As a leader, you are committed to the success of your team. Cultivate resilience to overcome the many interpersonal challenges you will inevitably face.
- Put someone else before yourself. When leading a team, ensuring their well-being and fostering a healthy culture should be your primary responsibilities. By focusing on your team, they will deliver breakthrough results for your organization.
- Winning is not about “you” being right. It’s about “we” meeting the objective. A leader’s job is not to have all the answers but to provide resources and direction that lead to the right solutions.
- You have to choose between being right and having peace; many times. A wise leader knows when to walk away from a fight. In more common terms, learn to pick your battles.
- You cannot succeed alone. Leaders thrive because of, and through others. Interdependence is key to success in any relationship.
- Cheer on each other and encourage personal growth. A leader’s success is reflected in the development of others.
- All perfect people are in heaven. Everyone else has flaws. Recognize that everyone makes mistakes. Help your employee view their errors as opportunities for growth. Don’t let past mistakes haunt career discussions and know when grace is needed.
- Listen more than you speak. We communicate best when we listen attentively rather than waiting to respond or solve problems. Sometimes, the best approach is to simply listen.
- Know when to shut up. There are times when silence is a more powerful management tool than speaking.
- Know when to step back. There are times when you need to allow someone else to take the lead, particularly in their area of expertise. There are also times when a situation can quickly spiral out of control. It’s crucial at that point to stop, reassess, and avoid escalation.
- Decisions are better when done together. Collaboration fosters innovation, breaks barriers, and can create “third-best options” that emerge from discussing differing ideas.
- You will grow apart if you don’t grow together. If you fail to grow together, you risk growing apart. Leader and organization growth are intertwined. Invest in both.
- Have fun. Don’t let daily stresses suck away your fun. Make time to celebrate even small successes together.
I encourage you to adopt these leadership lessons from love in a marriage if you want to be a memorable leader.
Applying the lessons of a successful marriage to leadership development is not only effective. it’s a smart thing for leaders to do. Nobody is perfect, but great leaders are lifelong learners who strive to be better tomorrow than they are today.
Empowered Leader Reflection
What’s the most impactful, relationship-driven lesson you’ve learned as a leader?
If this resonates with you, would you share your thoughts with us below?
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