Am I Resilient or Stubborn?
There’s a fine line between resilience and stubbornness. If I’m not careful, I may be so determined to accomplish something, that I could become stubborn and misinterpret it as resilience. What about you? Are you clear on the difference?
A beautiful Yellow Warbler has been trying to build a nest inside our house for the past five days. It was interesting to witness the action on the first day. She flew back and forth, trying every door and window on one side of our house without success. That went on for most of the day, and she’d be back the next day, flying back and forth from window to door to window. I thought that was one resilient yellow bird.
After a couple of days, my wife started feeling sorry for her that she was determined to drop her eggs here rather than go to build elsewhere. However, by the end of the week, we noticed the evidence of her presence by the spots she left on the floor below the windows and door handles where she perched. Our yellow feathery friend had become a nuisance. We started trying to take away her comfort by interrupting her efforts. But to no avail. I thought, “This bird is stubborn!” Then I reflected on my change of descriptions. Do I sometimes think I’m resilient while others think I’m stubborn?
Stubbornness versus Resilience
What’s the difference between these two behaviors?
Stubborn is being persistent but unwilling to change in the face of a challenge. It does not accept the challenge may require taking a step back and moving with a different approach. A Stubborn leader presses through a problem hoping for success.
Resilience is facing a challenge, recovering from the impact, assessing a better approach, and taking action to overcome the challenge. A resilient leader will change to the best possible approach to be successful.
When A Leader is Stubborn
Stubborn leaders always believe they are right. They tend to have a narrow-minded approach to challenges. The result is they’re not willing to listen to and evaluate differing opinions or other ideas. Stubborn leaders tend to have constant conflict and relationship difficulties, get poor value from their prepositions due to repeating mistakes, and miss growth opportunities.
There’re several reasons a leader may develop and demonstrate stubbornness. These include fear of change, fear of failure, perfectionism, self-consciousness, and even seeking to have constant control.
Characteristics of Resilient Leaders
Effective leaders develop resilience and avoid the negative trait of stubbornness. Here’re a few characteristics of resilient leaders.
- Focuses on delivering results versus focusing on the challenge.
- Flexible and can adapt and change as needed.
- Emotionally confident and have a high level of Emotional Intelligence
- Focuses on the future, long-term goals, or the end game versus short-term objectives.
- Listens well and is in touch. They welcome feedback and open dialogue.
- Sees setbacks as opportunities.
Resilient leaders will bend, but not break, in the face of adversity.
Both stubbornness and resilience require determination. The difference is a stubborn person is determined to take action without considering alternatives or accepting a necessary change. A resilient person is determined to take action after evaluating the challenge, understanding the impact, and developing the best path forward.
Leaders need to cultivate resilience to navigate and overcome challenges and adversities that we’re sure to face.
Four of the key actions needed to strengthen our resilience muscles are:
- Be a change master. Change is inevitable, so why not embrace it?
- Sharpen active listening. That helps to “hear” the warning signs when feedback is given.
- Watch out for stubborn triggers like fear, perfectionism, and self-consciousness.
- Be more self-aware and know when to pivot to a different direction or approach.
It’s essential to have a clear understanding of the difference between resilience and stubbornness to be an effective leader. Unfortunately, my pretty yellow bird does not subscribe to my leadership posts.
Empowered Leader Reflection
How do you evaluate yourself to confirm you’re not being stubborn when faced with a difficult situation?
Your turn. If this resonated with you, why don’t you add a comment below?
